Baby Botox?

Speaking of The Sexualized 4-Year-Old, have you read about the San Francisco mother that injects her eight-year-old daughter with Botox?  Not sure about you, but I, for one, am sick of seeing tweens with smile lines.  Faces should be blank canvases, revealing absolutely nothing of the inner soul.  We should all stop and praise this mother for breaking away from the parental norms and fighting to make it socially acceptable to inject poison in our children.  Three cheers for plastic pre-teens!

(Watch Good Morning America's interview with the "Botox Mom", Kerry Campbell.)

For reasons unbeknownst to me the mother is now being investigated by the San Francisco Human Services Agency.  Why are they punishing a mother who is only trying to give her daughter a leg-up in the competitive world of baby beauty pageants?  A young girl has got to be willing to go that extra mile to win these cutthroat competitions.  And, have you seen the trophies?  Who wouldn't want to pay the $1000 entrance fee and shell out the big bucks for physical fitness trainers, voice coaches, salon services, talent coaches, tanning, evening gowns, bathing suits, talent costumes, accessories, and flippers (plastic dental appliances used to make those kiddy smiles absolutely perfect!) for a chance to win a three-foot-tall tower of glitter and molded plastic?  In my opinion, a prize like that should be a staple in every little girl's room.

Some argue that child pageantry is greatly adding to the sexualization of young girls.  I argue that it prepares them for the real world, where people are judged on their looks, baton twirling ability, and toothy smiles.  Furthermore, pageants help train girls in the interview process.  Where else are you going to learn how to answer the tough questions like: "What do you think about the growing number of foreign investments in the United States?" and "Do you consider yourself to be a giver or a taker?"  (Questions taken from the Pageant Preps Book.)  One needs to only watch this video to appreciate how pageants help create eloquent and poised young ladies.

My only current concern is that I may have waited too long to start entering my own children into this glamorous realm (the oldest is already four!).  In any case, I am practicing to be the perfect pageant mom.  I have already made these statements part of our daily routine:

• "Put that cupcake down!  We have a bathing suit competition coming."
• "Hurry, or we will be late for your hair extension appointment."   
• "Did you see what that girl was wearing?  TACKY!"
• "Smile!  Bigger!  More teeth... I said smile, not smirk."
• "First runner up is just another term for loser."