The Power of My Own Voice

I strutted on stage in my 2.5 inch patent leather nude pumps like a professional.  Even though I was fairly confident that I would either slip, trip, or at the very least stumble while walking the twenty-five odd feet to the lectern, I surprisingly made it in one piece.  And, I looked good!

The audience listened to me.  They fell silent at the sound of my voice as I felt the energy of hundreds of pairs of eyes focused on my words.  They watched my face while I shared my story of depression and motherhood.  And, no one judged me.

I was no longer a faceless writer telling a story of pregnancy and medication.  I was a real mother- authentic and exposed.  By speaking my story, I was given the opportunity to force the audience to hear it with the passion and vulnerability that it took for me to write it.  They could feel my pain and experience the internal struggles that I faced while deciding to choose drugs, not for me, but for my family. Through strength of my spoken word, they knew that I am a good mother, not so different from them.

I was not alone, writing silently in my local coffee shop.  Listening in the seats sat nearly twenty of my closest friends and family, some of the same people who were there for me during the rainiest days of my depression.  The same people who helped me to find the ability to get better.  When parts of my essay became to hard to read, I closed my eyes and saw their faces encouraging me to keep talking.

And, backstage sat twelve other women, and one man, who also felt this magnetic pull of the audience.  They, too, knew what it was to have your words dance naked in an auditorium filled with strangers.  They understood the contradicting emotions playing tag with my heart.  They gave me the strength to not trip.

We were the voices of motherhood, and this year, we all listened to the mothers.

Read the recaps from my fellow mothers (and father):
Kirsten Patel and Kim Thompson-Steele
Melissa Arca
Rhea St. Julien
Andre Salvage
Joy McGillivray Latimer
Estelle Pagnoux Hayes