Monday, December 24, 2012

T'was the Night Before Christmas

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the home,
Not a creature is sleeping, from their beds the kids roam.
And even though they were tucked in hours ago,
Every ten minutes, another something they ask for.

Water, a hug, one more story, or the potty,
What seems so genuine is really quite naughty.
"Good night, sleep tight, or no Santa can come."
And Mama fills her mug with a bit more spiced rum.

Grandma gave the children too many Christmas cookies,
And Papa is hoping to get some holiday nookie.
Mama passive aggressively attends to the wrapping,
Ignoring the others still making their yapping.

After a long month overfilled with holiday cheer,
The end of the parties, treats, and presents was near.
Dream Lites, Pillow Pets, and Unicorn Stompeeze
Half the gifts under the tree were As seen on TV.

The tree is trimmed with ornaments white and red,
And many memorializing the pets that are now dead.
Candy canes, tinsel, and aerosol cans of snow,
Garlands, popcorn chains, and more plastic crap wrapped in bows.

Platters of Christmas goodies, and stocking above the fire,
counting down the minutes until the tantrums transpire.
All the stuff stuff and more stuff is making me blueish.
But wait, what's all this for, I thought we were Jewish?

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