Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Hair Battles

The three-year-old is more afraid of the hair brush than the monster living beneath her bed.  Without fail, she will run screaming from the room once she spies the round bristle brush.  One might assume that it was used as an instrument of torture, rather than a styling device.

As a result I dutifully keep her hair well trimmed, in a style I like to call "Mission Hipster meets Toddler".  Her fine hair is as straight as the persona Tom Cruise would like the public to believe, yet still manages to tangle itself into a mess every night.  The front is kept slightly longer than the back, which gets shaved with the electric razor each time the duck tail grows back, and her bangs waiver between one and two inches long.
The black eye adorning her round face is courtesy of her sister and a board book.
When she is properly groomed her hair needs nothing more than twice weekly washings and a gentle comb through with my fingers while reading bedtime stories.  During the "in-between cuts" times, she awakens each morning with her hair sticking up like the mane of a lion.  On those days you will find me chasing her around the hallway with a spray bottle of leave in conditioner in one hand and a boar bristle brush in the other. The pursuit usually ends in a head of half-brushed hair and the three-year-old wailing, "No Mommy! You are not my favorite!"

The five-year-old is only moderately less terrified of the styling tool.  However, her tresses are much more problematic.  She is now of the age where she demands strict control over the length and cut of her hair. 
On the bright side, she is now old enough to occasionally reason with.  After years of her waging war against me and the hairbrush, we can come to a compromise- if she wants to keep her long locks, she must let me brush them at least once a day.  Unfortunately, this doesn't prevent her from whining the entire three minutes it takes me to do so.  While I have tried many magic solutions suggested to be by friends over the years (is it just me, or does the Hair Genie look like a female sex toy?), nothing has really proven to be the miracle cure for mothers of daughters with messy hair. 

Before my own children began howling every time a comb or brush appeared, I always assumed that the high rate of sex-selection in China was due to a male-dominated, chauvinistic society that values penises over vaginas.  Now, however, I have a different theory: the Chinese just don't want to deal with the hair battles.


  1. "You are not my favorite!" Classic. As my toddler has a big afro that elicits many tears as we battle it, I feel you, Mama.

  2. Effective powerful love spell to get your Ex lover back urgently after breakup/divorce!.
    Hi everyone,
    I'm so excited. My ex-boyfriend is back after a breakup, I’m extremely happy that will are living together again.
    My boyfriend of a 4yr just broke up with me and am 30 weeks pregnant. I have cried myself to sleep most of the nights and don’t seem to concentrate during lectures sometimes I stay awake almost all night thinking about him and start to cry all over again. Because of this I end up not having energy for my next day’s classes, my attendance has dropped and am always in uni and on time. Generally he is a very nice guy, he ended it because he said we were arguing a lot and not getting along. He is right we’ve been arguing during the pregnancy a lot .After the break up I kept ringing him and telling him I will change. I am in love with this guy and he is the best guy I have ever been with. I’m still hurt and in disbelief when he said he didn’t have any romantic feelings towards me anymore that hurt me faster than a lethal syringe. He texts me now and then mainly to check up on how am doing with the pregnancy, he is supportive with it but it’s not fair on me, him texting me as I just want to grieve the pain and not have any stress due to the pregnancy.
    I was really upset and I needed help, so I searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Ahmed can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and I did it then he did a spell for me. 17 hours later, my bf came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my bf are living together happily again...
    All thanks to Dr Ahmed if you have any problem contact Dr Ahmed now and I guarantee you that he will help you. Here’s his contact. Email him at: Call/what’s-app him: +2348160153829