Friday, February 8, 2013

We are Not a Hipster Family

Over the past few years the universe has been bombarding me with signs that I am just no longer cool.  Even though I am a young(ish) mother raising my children in what many consider to be a very hip city, and I endeavor to expose the girls to San Francisco's rich culture of food, music, and the arts, in all honesty I fall short. While outfitted in my gym clothes, I watch the young twenty-somethings dressed in their freshly silk-screened ironic t-shirts and fedoras and think, "I should do that." 
Unfortunately, I don't own any silk-screening equipment and adding a hat to my already crowded morning routine, would surely be the catalyst to a major breakdown.  When I am not sporting yoga pants and a hoodie, my ensemble was most likely purchased from either Old Navy or Target, and not even their cool new designer collections- those usually sell out before I've dropped the kids at school.

As for culture, I spend my afternoons chauffeuring the kids to various main-stream after-school activities in my Prius station wagon.  Although I would love to remark, "Elana's harmonica teacher says that she has much raw talent," the girls have opted for gymnastics and ballet. 

If my husband and I were to persuade the girls to try the latest over-priced, Korean-fusion, pop-up restaurant, we would simply be forced to leave within the first five minutes, when the kids discovered that the restaurant only offers rice, if it's topped with kimchi and Bulgogi.  The children mostly subsist on an all-beige diet.  They don't do foodie.

Sure, the hipsters and I do have a few things in common. For example, we both love Annie's mac n' cheese in the shape of Arthur.  But alas, they buy it ironically. I buy it because the three-year-old will scream if I don't.

Ultimately, this morning the final rock was tossed that shattered my dreams of appearing "cool" to the outside world.  After partaking in my weekly Body Combat class for middle-age mothers with sagging body parts, I stopped at the most recent trendy coffee shop to emerge in my surrounding neighborhoods.  This shop is so fashionable that it operates out of a garage space in a warehouse district!  I know, totally awesome!

After waiting in line for the other patrons to order their single-drip cups of coffee, I asked for a non-fat latte.  The hipster barista looked at me in disdain over the counter made from reclaimed wood, then with a small smirk on his face, informed me that "We only do whole milk."  Apparently arrogant espresso is in vogue!  It took every ounce of self regulation not to tell that little, skinny-jeans clad hipster with his beard and felt cap to march his bike riding ass to the corner bodega and buy a 1/2 gallon of skim (and throw in a 6-pack of diet coke while he's at it).

So reality has set in, I'm only cool enough for Peet's and Starbucks.


  1. Ohhh. I just found your blog via Babble. Adding it to my blogroll. Love it.

  2. Prosecute Johnson in addition to Les Greenberg Eheberatung

    I am OLSEN LISA from NORWAY. i want to testify about powerful Dr Owelle for saving my relationship.I must be one of the few who don’t have a trouble showing and telling someone how grateful I am for making my relationship a melodious and smooth relationship. I have been trying to be more positive about my relationship with my boyfriend, it seems like it has taken forever. Another lady took my Fiancee away from me and they both relocated. i cried and searched for him to come back but he refused to take my calls nor return my messages. My friend introduced me to a female powerful spell caster called Dr Owelle who helped me cast a very powerful love spell that brought back my Fiancee in 24 hours. i was amazed and surprised when my fiancee called to beg me for forgiveness all because of the powerful love spell of Dr Owelle. dont fail to Contact Dr Owelle through the following means because i never belivered a female can possess such powers like her if you have any Marrital or Relationship problem. his contact information are below

    WHATSAPP NUMBER---+1 (631) 800-5310

  4. I've gotten back with my ex husband, you can also fix your broken relationship & get your ex-lover back fast. I'm Angel Wesley from the United States. My husband and i have been married for about 6yrs now. We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. 1 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from him and a few weeks later, I found out that my husband is seeing someone else. He started coming home late from work, he hardly care about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes he goes out and doesn't even come back home for about 2-3 days. I did all I could to rectify this problem but all to no avail. I became very worried and needed help. so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested Dr Unity can help get ex back fast, restore broken relationships and stop a divorce. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and told him my problems and he told me what to do and i did it and he did a {love spell} for me. 28 hours later, my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. Thank you Dr Unity for saving my broken Marriage and brought my husband back to me!".. I and my family are living together happily again. Dr.Unity is the best online spell caster that is powerful and genuine. If you have any problem contact him and i guarantee you that he will help you. Here’s his contact..Email him at: ,you can also call him or add him on whats-app:+2348071622464.

  5. Good day everyone. I have something to share with you.. My name is Andrew Ryan USA, my girlfriend and I were separated for a long period due to some misunderstanding, I came across different spiritualist and they were all unable to bring my lover back. I was so sad and almost gave up on him not until when i met Great Doctor Omoluyi who helped me get my lover back miraculously. Ever since then i have been so happy and couldn't believe it would happen. He also helped me with success spell, I have been living happily with my lover now and will be getting married soon. Here is his contact Email: [ ] if you need his help on getting your ex back, stop your marriage from crumbling or you need success in every aspect of your life. He is really a good Doctor.

    Cell Number: +1 (914) 517-3229