Her First Day

Last night I packed her new Hello Kitty lunchbox carefully- cucumbers, cherries, yogurt, and a peanut butter sandwich cut into bite-sized hearts and flowers, hoping the hearts would remind her that she is loved.  Somehow, it didn't seem enough.

This morning I woke up with my alarm and tip-toed into her room to gently kiss her awake.  To my disappointment, she was already up and excited to start the day.  Still, I wasn't quite ready.

After a hearty breakfast she changed into her new dress, and allowed me to brush her hair without fuss.   We filled her backpack with her lunch, her water bottle, and a spare change of clothes, all clearly labeled with permanent marker.  And, then I threw in a huge chunk of my heart, careful to not let her see.

My husband and I loaded her, and all her gear, into the car and drove to school.  Kids from kindergarten through fifth were gathered on the courtyard.  On the far side of the yard an energized ball of chatter dominated the group as the older children reacquainted with friends.  On the near side, the five-year-old's held tightly to their parents hands trying to mask their nervous expressions.

The bell rang and her class walked in a single line to their new room, and she gripped my hand with a little more determination.  When we reached her classroom door, we hugged her, whispering our declarations of love and pride.

And then she grabbed her friend's hand and skipped into kindergarten.  She's ready, and I may be tomorrow.  I am no longer Married with Toddlers.  I am now Married with Toddler.